Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We're too hungover to prance.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
