I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So much rum. So many feels.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
