I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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