Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
