Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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