I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
