problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
