it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
There r osticjed everywhere
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
