every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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