anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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