i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just took my morning after pill in the library
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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