hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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