On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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