Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
