i jhust puked up my retainher.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize