Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
