If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
