All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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