But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
