Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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