lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
