The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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