tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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