I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
