You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize