i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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