i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
