He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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