I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
