put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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