A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
