She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
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The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
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Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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