Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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