Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
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