Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
