I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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