wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
