Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Are we still banned from the library?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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