So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
