You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
