Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
