I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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