Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
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I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
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Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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