Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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