OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
