Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?