I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Houston, we have a squirter
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
