I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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