He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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