My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
