it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
