What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
