So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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