my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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