He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
we made out on top of his cat.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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