His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize