i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
